To whom it may concern….
Before I start I would like to first make it clear that I no way consider myself a professional teacher (I am far from it) and I am a self professed hater of teaching English. However, it would be entirely false to say that I have not learned much from my year and a half of teaching at an 英会話. The reality is that while I was as lazy as I could be without being fired, I tried to take from the experience as much as I could and although I grumbled and groaned far more than I probably should have, I do appreciate all the things I have experienced. The point of this letter is so that the very view people that stumble across this page may learn something from all the suffering I had to go through. I am going to start off with one of the most important points:
1. You are a TEACHER not a clown – Many 英会話 will want you to make the kids laugh and have a good time. They want you to do this by prancing, capering and making a straight up ass of yourself. DO NOT DO THIS! If they tell you to do this either, A: Tell them to go fuck themselves, B: Tell them ok and then do what you want anyways, or if neither of those work C: Quit and find another job. This teaching style is ineffective for children past the age of 6 or MAYBE 7. As ignorant and sometimes stupid as children can be, they can recognize a moron when they see one. They will not respect you. They might not respect you when you are serious either but that’s not the point. You can be as positive as you want but it comes down to this, more than HALF of these children do not want to be learning English after school. Did you want to go to another school right after you finished regular school? Of course not, you wanted to go home and watch tv and have fun. The best thing you can do for some of the less motivated kids is just give them a good impression of English. What kind of impression will kids have of you acting like a fucking moron? They might have fun but the joke is on you. They are laughing but what are they learning? More often than not, nothing. I’ve had friends tell me that they have kids at their schools that can’t even say basic sentences after months of going there. This is unacceptable. Being a joker does not lead to anything. Don’t put on a show; you must be interactive. These kind of ideas motivate the children to practice English and it doesn’t insult their or your intelligence with acts of buffoonery. That’s basically all acting like a clown is doing.
Here is the prime example of this. Just today at my school we had a new teacher standing in for a teacher going on vacation. He has gotten most of his experience at other eikaiwa that endorse acting like a jackaninny. Also in his defense (as weak as it is) most of his experience has been with preschools and nothing higher. So he walks into these classes with students pushing 12 and 13, to 17 and he acts in a similar goofy way. The results were kinda surprising. Eye rolling, kids storming from the class, there was even a usually nice little girl that told another teacher (in English) that she did not like him. This wasn’t one class. This was EVERY CLASS HE TAUGHT. Granted, at our school we don’t act like tools so the kids aren’t used to it but still, this is what most children are going to think of you. How is that an atmosphere to learn. When you were a student, did you want to learn from a teacher who was an idiot or for one you respected?
2. When you first join a new class, PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN – This one is one that I have the most trouble with because I really want to be friendly with the children. This does not do them any favors for. You must be a teacher first and a friend second. If you give the children the impression that you are stern when you need to be, they will behave much better and the class will be much more productive.
3. Not all children are the same! – Not all children are the same, so why treat them as such? I am guilty of this. When I first started teaching, I disciplined all the children in the same way. With negative reinforcement. I used to yell at them or threaten them with a trip to my boss (wouldn’t have helped anything. He’d have just pandered to them). In some classes this worked; in most however, it had no effect or made things worse. One must understand that all of these some kids get is discipline when they go home(some are the exact opposite). So when they get yelled at at home and then get yelled at at school they tend not to react well. Example: I had this boy who was actually quite bright but his mother was kinda insane. She was always hard on him and pushing him too hard. So when he got to class and I disciplined at all, he would either shut down or lash out. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I was trying to put my foot down! Ah but there is an exception to that rule. When I stopped being a hard ass and started using POSITIVE reinforcement, he was a damn angel. Using a reward system for good behavior works wonders with children like this. They just want to be appreciated (don’t we all?). This kid only gets shit on all the time and never gets a pat on the back. Some kids really need that. In fact, positive reinforcement almost always works better than negative. If you can mix the two together that usually gets the best results. Each class is a new challenge. It is a teacher’s duty to learn to adapt.
4. If something isn’t working, try something new. – This kind of goes with the last one. Another mistake I made was that I would keep doing the same games, the same plans in a class for a very long time. It would eventually become stale and the kids would react negatively to it. Sometimes though things become so habitual that you forget that you can change what you are doing . DO NOT FORGET. One thing that people teaching in Japan may notice is many kids in junior high and above will probably act like a husk of a human. The system has crushed them and they are lifeless. This doesn’t have to be. TRY SOMETHING NEW. I know this sounds retarded but I see it happen every day at work with other teachers. There are hundreds of ways to make even the most boring tasks more fun. For instance, at my school we have to have the children learn speeches. Some of these speeches are long and take the children a long time to learn. It can get very dry if they just sit there memorizing lines so what I did was I integrated that with some ideas from video games. I made every few lines a new rank or level. As they learned more of their speech they “leveled up”. I gave them a health meter (like zelda) and when they do their speech I erase some life for every major mistake. With their remaining health I give them coins. They can then play this other gambling game with them that I made up. The kids actually had fun for once. It took me a month before I tried to make that task fun. Don’t be like me.
5. The kids don’t speak English. That does not mean they are retarded. – This more applies to the older kids. People who are talking to non-native students tend to over dumb down their speech. This makes class boring. Particularly in more advanced classes. The kids tend to react much better when they know you are being real. I try and treat the kids as if they were native. They clearly appreciate it. It might be harder for them but they are learning more. Anyways, who is going to dumb down their speech that much if they do travel outside of Japan?
6. Give the dumb kids as much attention as the smart ones. - I’ll admit, I am ESPECIALLY bad at this. Those dumb bastard kids really piss me off but I really do try to be nice to them. The mark of a good teacher is one that can teach anyone, not just the ones that want to learn. This is why I have given up the idea of being a teacher in America. I wanted to do it for the wrong reasons anyways (summer vacation).
7. ITS OK TO USE JAPANESE – Ok, many people might not agree with me on this one. I don’t care. It is ok to use Japanese in class. This no Japanese rule has a damn limit. I tell the children not to speak Japanese (when I remember to) but that doesn’t mean that they or you can’t use one or two words here and there to get your point across. Many teachers will say that it is important to have a no Japanese atmosphere because you should be in an English mindset. I totally agree with that stance BUT this is something that the children will have to come to on their own. It can not be forced. It took me 3 years before I was able to not translate from English to Japanese in my head for most anything I said (although I am a bad student). Just because they aren’t saying Japanese doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking it. I also feel that Japanese allows me to become closer with my students and in turn, they are more willing to do as I say. Some teachers will never speak Japanese around their students until they are about to leave. I think this is a mistake. What better way to relate to someone who is feeling embarrassed about speaking another language then to show them you are going through the same thing. It is really effective when they can see that connection. Although sometimes they don’t and they think you are some sort of illiterate moron. OOPS! Truth is though, they would probably think that about you anyways if you didn’t speak a word of Japanese so you might as well take the chance.
Anyways I doubt anyone will read this but post a comment if you do and have anything else to add to the list. Or if you disagree with me feel free to flame me. I shall give all people in the latter group a preemptive, FUCK YOU.
